I only have one thing on my mind.

And trust me, you don't want to hear about it.

"IT" being the horrible, itchy, puffy, full-body allergic rash that has ruined the last three days of my life.

But really, talking about it would just turn my blog into a full-blown parody of clueless, self involved oversharing. Because no one really wants to read about another's horrifying allergic reactions. Not even my husband or my sister or any of my numerous imaginary internet friends.

In fact, here's a good question to keep in mind whenever one feels like sharing something personal with the whole wide world. Just ask yourself, "Does what I am about to say involve the words itchy, rashy, or ointment?"

If the answer is yes, then STOP. The universe really really does not need to know.

And by the way, I owe my husband a debt of gratitude for keeping me from posting pictures of my malady, because that seemed like a really cool idea on Thursday night when I was high as a kite on generic Benadryl.